Terrible Trends

As a Hair and Makeup Artist, it is my job to stay on top of trends… But I don’t have to like them, and I’m definitely going to tell you about it when I think they’re stupid. Here are five fashion and beauty trends that make my eyes roll.

Bushy eyebrows. Or any other eyebrows that don’t frame the eye shape correctly. Your brows should draw attention to your eyes, not away from them. I mean, I guess if you’re into looking like a Muppet, go for it. But give me my tweezers. Thanks, Christian Dior, for making this a thing.

Pink eye shadow and/or eyeliner. Did I miss something? Is heroin chic back? Because everybody looks like bloodshot junkies wearing that stuff. Or zombies. But not cool zombies that claw their way out of their graves and eat human flesh. Lame zombies that just flop around on your furniture and whine about being out of cereal.

High waisted, cheeky shorts. When you have fabric up to your rib cage but not enough to cover your butt, it pretty much just looks like your worthless tailor made a tragic miscalculation.

[Note from Web Assistant Stacey: Jenn and I agree on most things, but not this one. I love high waisted shorts, and my butt cheeks deserve FREEDOM!]

[Note from Jenn to Stacey: You also like granny-panties. IJS **See note below**]

Leggings as pants. Leggings are not pants. Pants are pants, and camel toe isn’t cute. Maybe if you put those cheeky shorts on over them, you’ll have a real outfit. Sort of.

[Stacey again: Jenn is right. They aren’t pants. That’s why I wear them INSTEAD of pants. Because pants are for suckers.]

Multiple bobby pins worn as hair accessories. Seriously, what is this even? The whole point of bobby pins is to hold the hair in place without being seen. That’s like hanging a picture facing the wall to display all the cool hardware on the back. Stop it.

**For the "granny panties", please enjoy the burlesque performance of Eartha Delights.**