Be the Maid of Honor, Not Made of Horror

Being a Maid of Honor is kind of like being a team captain - it’s an honor and a privilege, but also a ton of responsibility with basically no reward other than knowing you helped make your sister/friend’s day even more special. Here are a few ways of screwing up the gig that I recommend you don’t try.

• Make it about you. And by “it,” I mean “anything.” Because it’s the bride’s day, not yours. I don’t care if your husband left you and your cat is sick and you got a bad dye job and your car broke down - you put those feelings in a lockbox and pull yourself together until the honeymoon is underway. You have the rest of your life to feel sorry for yourself. The bride just gets this one wedding. Don’t make her remember your bad day for the rest of her life.

• Be a Maidzilla. You are not running this show, the bride is. You are her right hand. The Robin to her Batman. The Chewbacca to her Han Solo. The Watson to her Sherlock. The Pedro to her Napoleon Dynamite. You get the idea. Give her honesty when she needs it (always with love and kindness,) do her bidding without complaint, and be friendly and helpful to the other bridesmaids and all contracted staff - if the bride is stressed and not communicating well, you should step in as the diplomatic representative.

• Whine about your hair and makeup. Remember how this is not your day? Don’t even think about monopolizing the MUAH’s time with your vanity. If the bride isn’t happy with your appearance, that’s one thing, but this is not the time to demand a redo because you have a hair out of place or you don’t care for your blush shade.

• Pull a vanishing act. Your place is by the bride’s side. All day. You are her handler, her gopher, and her moral support. If you have to run an errand or get some air, make sure she knows where you’re going, when you’ll be back, and how to reach you. She should never have to wonder where you are or hunt for you.

• Surprise her with a roast toast. Embarrassing the bride (or the groom, for that matter) in front of everyone they care about is not part of this deal. Write your toast ahead of time, and if you really want to tell a story with personal and/or potentially sensitive content, clear it with her before the big day.