You Know You're a MUA When...

I keep seeing fluff pieces that laugh about things people are passionate about in particular careers, hobbies, or places. Like “You know you’re from Kansas City when…” or “You know you’re a dancer when…” or “You know you’re a depressed Norse God with abandonment issues when…” (Okay, maybe I made that last one up.) Anyway, I like them, so I made one. I present:

You know you're a makeup artist when...

• Your makeup is worth more than your car. Not counting brushes.

• You decide to buy that new $50 palette and hope your kid is okay with cheese sandwiches for lunch at school for the next month.

• You smell all the makeup before you buy it.

• You avoid Walmart in general because you don't have a filter when it comes to someone's terrible eyebrows.

• You buy industrial tool boxes from Home Depot to transport your brushes.

• You always have breath mints at work... And not for yourself.

• You hyperventilate when you see people pump their mascara.

• You can call anyone's foundation shade at thirty paces.

• You believe that if Sugar Pill doesn't make an eyeshadow in it, it isn't a real color.

• You've run makeup trials on your significant other, your children, and possibly your dog.

• You never leave the house without your airbrush rig. Just in case.

• Your earthquake kit contains false eyelashes and a complete skin care regimen.

• You have a zombie apocalypse plan that includes grabbing disposable mascara wands.

• You’ll be parted from your Lime Crime palettes when they pry them from your cold, dead hands.

• You spend more on primer than food.

• Your kid announces in art class that the Mona Lisa could really use some contouring.

• Your significant other’s eyes glaze over at the mere mention of a sale at Sephora.

• You love your job so much, you don’t even mind long hours, difficult clients, and crazy working conditions.